How to see the good in people (even when they make it REALLY hard)

The fact that you’ve opened this article to read it is the first step in starting to love and accept the humans around you, regardless of their actions, demeanor or just straight up annoying things that they do. Recognizing that you need to change your perspectives about people is half the battle. Do you pick out the annoying things people do and let them get to you? Are you trying to get better about seeing the good in people instead of discounting them as another annoying person living in the same space as you? Well, good for you, my friend. You’re on the path to loving other humans.

So what do YOU get out of loving other people and choosing to see the good in them? The benefits to your own life are literally endless. The shift in your perspective opens the constriction of good energy that you’ve been blocking off when you push people away or discount them on the sole basis of their behavior. That good energy that comes from choosing to see good in other people attracts good things into your life that you’ve been keeping at bay because of your harmful perspective. That’s right, your harmful perspective of other people isn’t affecting them. It’s affecting you.

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We’re not naive or oblivious. We know how hard other people can make it to like them. It’s extremely hard to like someone who’s constantly annoying you, or that person who just cut you off while driving. But what if we told you that you are the one who creates the feeling of annoyance or anger within you, not them? Just as you have the choice to season your food to taste better, so do you have the choice to season other people’s actions with forcing yourself to see the good. That person who cut you off while driving practices dangerous driving behavior, you don’t. You quickly reacted by tapping your breaks. You are a good, vigilant driver who makes it easier for other drivers to, well, drive. Who is more of an asset on the road, and who is less likely to crash? You. Your added anger on top of that person’s negligence doesn’t affect the person who cut you off and sped away. You’re the one left their to stew in your own anger. Instead of choosing anger, choose love. Assure yourself that clearly they have somewhere super important to be to the point where they’re endangering the lives of the mother, fathers, brothers, etc. on the road around them and that you hope they get to their destination safely. You’ll never know what the case is, you might as well make up a positive story to avoid evoking your own harmful anger.

Yes, there are people in this world who are actually evil. They breathe, eat and sleep evil intentions such as pedophiles, rapists, and killers. But you HAVE to take comfort in the fact that these people who are evil, are few and far between. The people you come into contact with on a daily basis are people just carrying on exactly like you. They get angry at people who cut them off, they have annoying coworkers, and they have demands of them that need to be met. Thinking negatively of them only further validates your negative perception of those around you, which only further harms you. How does it harm you? Harnessing negative energy attracts turmoil into your life. Have you had a series of bad events happen in your life? Look within you, you’re harboring negative energy somewhere and believe it or not, people teach us lessons about where it could be hiding.

Everyone has a story you know nothing about, and everyone holds information that can change your attitude about them. You can either try to tap into it, or just have faith that it’s there, just as it’s within you.

Here’s an exercise: the next time someone does something that annoys you, makes you angry, etc. I want you to write down what they did. I then want you to close your eyes and think about the reasons why someone would do that. Why would they cut you off? Why would they complain to you? I then want you to look long and hard at what they did, and underneath, write “I forgive you because this isn’t worth letting affect me.” Chances are, it’s not.

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